You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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