just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
