I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize