dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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