remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
