some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
