somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
