Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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