dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
