is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
its liver damage thursday
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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