what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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