he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
