bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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