return my video game
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
