Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
