I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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