I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize