that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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