She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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