names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Less talking, more tequila
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
