It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
