You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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