hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize