he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
