you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
