in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
