a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize