My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize