Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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