Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
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I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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