My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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