You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
