she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
