Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize