so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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