i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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