omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My dick has a subreddit
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
