Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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