if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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