this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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