May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
