So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We have started to decorate penises.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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