i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize