My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
