Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize