and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
