Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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