ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
