i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i will never coherently bang her
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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