office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
