That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
