Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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