You made me cry and you don't even care
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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