She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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