i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
