Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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