Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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