OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
