you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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