you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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