Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
