What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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