3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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