I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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